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Tenga review

Submitted by twovests in just_post

My work is mandating back-to-the-office, and I want to earn the respect of my coworkers, so I decided to pick up some office desk ornaments.

"Newton's cradle" or "bird which drinks water" really come off as "idle plaything" / "easily distractable" vibes. I heard about "Tenga" from a roommate who collects them, which are a series of silicon desk ornaments with strange geometric constructions.

I have to say, I do NOT understand the value for the money. Their "Geo" series are simply some geometric desk orbs which can be thrown around, but I was disappointed to find they're not a complete ball. They cheaped out, made it hollow, and added an opening.

But it gets worse. Their "Cup" series are entirely unusable as a drinking device, because it's open on BOTH ENDS. It does not even have the interesting geometry of the "Geo" series.

I think their very worst products have to be the "Tenga pocket". These are disposable desk ornaments meant for, what, emergencies? They have no structure and they just lay flat on your desk, like a strange business card. They're good for "one use", and I have no idea if that's meant to be a whole business day or what.

All in all, I wish I went with something like a magnet desk toy, or a really cool flashlight.

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twovests wrote (edited )

(jokes aside, don't google tenga if you don't know what it is. they're not desk toys. the joke is that they're avant-garde jackoff devices.)

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Ava wrote

you had me riled up with the "disposable desk ornaments" lol

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500poundsofnothing wrote

Wait how are they avant-garde?

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twovests wrote

i don't mean "avant garde" entirely earnestly. i'm sure there's an art history term for "appropriating the most profitable vibes from experimental art movements for jackoff toys"

(as part of research for this post, i found out a lot of them have hard unbeveled cubes, which seems painful and hilarious. if people are grating their junk with these then maybe that counts as avant garde? or dadaist?)