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toasthaste wrote
Hi this is Daisy. Funky Kong you need to stop dancing around it and just tell Wario you want to sleep with him. Just ask if he's DTF already. This is getting embarrassing.
Anyway I'm off to write more filthy SasuNaru fanfic, good luck out there.
twovests wrote
Hey Funky Kong. I'm feeling better now after my 21 hour nap, during which my Bitcoin Mining Pool mined 0 bitcoins. But I was awarded dividends for the last Bitcoin we minted, which gave me a nice 0.00004BTC, so I'm feeling quite sultry.
I'm currently itemizing my deductions and, under the guise of a devout Christian, I am claiming to have donated soooo much money to my church. How much should I tell them?
Moonside wrote
Hey, I am Funky Kong. You may remember me from the renowned ASMR parody video.
It's always kind of awkward to be a character in a sexually explicit Nintendo fanfic. Like aren't we ripples from a simpler time when we didn't have to worry about much except for chores, homework and having fun? Yet here we are, being perverts in a hurt/comfort fic.
I am so horny you don't even know it. I have achieved everything in life- bananas, mostly- but there aren't enough female side characters to seduce in either of our fictional universes. Isn't that true? Wario, you've been single for a long time. Is there a Wapeasy or Wadaisy waiting for you somewhere, the romance of a life time? When will you see that the erotic power of money is no match to the gentle caressing of a bitcoin?
Listen. We need to bring excitement to our lives. Let's do tax fraud?